Tottenham is Looking for a Coach and I’m Hiding So They Don’t Pick Me
Tottenham Hotspur fired their manager again. They are reportedly “casting a wide net” for his replacement. I…
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I Saw an Image of Tottenham Hotspur and Felt an Overwhelming Sense of Doom
I was scrolling through my feed and saw a simple, high-resolution image of the Tottenham Hotspur starting…
Why Is Every Tournament Game a Blowout? I Blame Myself
This has been the Big Dance of blowouts. Twenty‑one games decided by 20 or more. At some…
Michigan Plays Tennessee Today and I Have Already Apologized to My Television
Michigan vs. Tennessee. The immovable object meets the unstoppable force. I have already gently patted my flat-screen…
Illinois Pulled Away Late and So Did My Sanity
Illinois pulled away late. I did not. I paced so much my smartwatch asked if I was…
Arizona Made the Final Four and I Am Shocked but Also Not
Arizona is in the Final Four for the first time in 25 years. I celebrated, panicked, celebrated…
Wagler Scored a Historic 25 and I Took It as a Personal Insult
Wagler just dropped a historic 25 points in a tournament game. He is 19 years old. Meanwhile,…
Rick Pitino Signed a New Deal and I’m Scared for Everyone Else
Rick Pitino signing a new deal through 2030 feels less like a contract and more like a…
Michigan Won by So Much I Thought My TV Was Broken
Michigan won by 37 points. That’s not a basketball game — that’s a cry for help. I…
I Placed a $5 March Madness Bet and Now I Understand Wall Street Corruption
I downloaded a sports betting app and placed exactly $5 on a heavily favored team. They immediately…